Falling In Love Is Natural But Staying In Love Is A Choice
Falling in love is usually referred to those feelings of having butterflies in the stomach when you feel charged and euphoric in the presence of your beloved and feel a sudden rush of emotions. Those feelings are special and create a high. Falling in love is usually the autonomous process that happens quite naturally when you meet a person who clicks you. This phase is often referred to as the attraction phase or the honeymoon period. This is the most exciting stage of falling in love. But with time, the excitement dissipates gradually. The overcharged period begins to settle in, and the highs of the emotion begin to fade away.
The next stage of love is the real test of love, as the initial spark and excitement go away and the person comes into a state of normalcy. It is often said that falling in love is easy but staying in love is a choice. No doubt that the feeling of falling in love is distinctly different from staying in love. Falling in love comes naturally as the individual enjoys the rush of emotions, whereas saying in love demands effort. Both the phases of love have their own joys and excitement. To enjoy both phases of love to the fullest, it is essential to recognize the difference between them because the problem arises when the person expects the same level of excitement at both phases.
Long term relationship requires effort and dedication. Every day is a choice to fall in love with the same person over and over again. The fading of the excitement level is not only restricted to the relationships. It happens with every task or every long-term journey. It is visible in every aspect of life. Everything seems enticing and exciting initially, but as time passes, the excitement level slowly goes down. It is the Psychology of Excitement. Excitement is short-lived and temporary. WHY? Because the human body is always seeking a state of homeostasis, a condition of stability. The mind and body are constantly undergoing changing conditions — fluctuations in temperature, pressure, etc. Despite all the changes, the body can dynamically adapt to maintain homeostasis.
Excitement disrupts the body’s homeostasis — but only temporarily. Since the body is constantly returning to homeostasis, a condition of true excitement (in the biological sense) can go on for a short period of time. Does this mean that we are hopelessly destined to live boring lives without any excitement? The answer is no, but we have to work at keeping things alive in our work and relationships. This translates into building excitement in life by planning to do something that changes the routine.
It is crucial to understand how does our brain reacts when we are in love. Being in love releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that controls the brain's reward and pleasure center, making us feel happy around our loved ones. The latest research identified that dopamine is much more than a pleasure chemical. It plays a critical role in seeking behavior. It tends to create a seeking reward-loop. Dopamine causes you to want, desire, seek out and search. It increases your general level of arousal when you are involved in goal-directed activity. Dopamine makes you curious about ideas and fuels your desire to search for more. Hence, it is important to keep the spark of love alive by engaging in different activities together and getting the constant dopamine dose. It is always a good idea to explore the world together. Keep your spouse involved in setting long-term goals or planning a vacation.
Life is often portrayed as exciting when chasing dreams or love in stories and movies, which is different from real life. The media only shows half the story. Life is not about chasing excitement. It is essential to learn to enjoy monotonous, boring, repetitive tasks, such as enjoy making dinner, doing groceries. There should be a smooth transition from falling in love to falling out of love. Stay aware of these phases. Be willing and ready to embrace the changes in expectations of the relationship. Nothing remains the same, and relationships are no exception to it. The only way to keep love life successful is to grow together at each phase, be it a honeymoon period or the phase of lacking excitement.