Marriage is not a 50-50
“Marriage is simply two people who decide to go through until their last breath.”
Ola! It is February, and I just returned from Kuala Lumpur, again! I’ve been traveling like mad for my academy, and it has been two wonderful years setting up this business of my own. I wouldn’t be able to do this without the support from my other half. Now, this is the story of my life for Pathways this month.
Twenty-four years ago, my husband and I met accidentally at his workplace. I was still a university student, while he was ‘one-popular-guy’ from that television station. He told everyone I was hitting on him, but the truth was I was just asking about his boss! Laughing insanely now, I know! So now everyone knows. That “Excuse me” turned into “I need to buy something” several weeks later. I was a broadcasting student, so we required some technical stuff for videography class – men’s stuff like a screwdriver and all.
He brought me to a supermarket. Bear in mind, 24 years ago; the supermarket didn’t sell all these kinds of stuff. Only then I realized ahh, so by doing this, he got more chances to take me out. I am a dad’s daughter, so I told him, “You have to seek permission from my dad to keep taking me out like this.” So, one day he offered to take me home to my hometown as I also needed to bring back my sister back who was on school holiday at that time. So, we went.
Surprisingly, my family received him with open hands. Considering that’s the first time I brought back home a guy. My dad, my mom, my aunties, and my late grandmother, loved him so much. That’s how everything begins — our love story with blessings from my family. Never met his family though before our wedding, as they live very, very far from Kuala Lumpur. I only hear stories from him; everything was good.
He waited until I finished my degree – 5 years and 5 months. The wedding was a blast for 3 days. I was the apple of the eye for many. I met his family for the first time. I wouldn’t recommend this to any couple, even my children. Everyone should meet their future in-laws before their wedding. Like, really necessary. So, after that, we live happily ever after. From one daughter to two pairs, we were always supportive of each other.
We struggled at the beginning of our marriage, well, who doesn’t? But it was enough for me when he always put me as his priority. I remember when we were both doing our Masters, I was driving an old secondhand car as I couldn’t afford a good one. His distance to the university was definitely farther than mine, but he took and drove my car instead. I drove his. That’s the priority and struggles I was talking about. And when his job requires him to move to three different countries, I quit my job and tag along. Left everything for him and the kids. That’s how we set priorities and struggles.
Today, we celebrate our 18 years of joy, sorrow, compromises, sacrifices, teamwork, success, appreciation, imperfection, forgiveness, support, partnership, companion, and love. It is simply two people who, from time to time, struggle even to like each other. Two people who cherish each other. Two people who enjoy their differences. Two people who embrace their partner’s changes throughout life. Two people who can stay silent when they are mad at each other. Two people who stand strong when the family comes to interfere. Two families who stand by each other’s side even though the whole world is against them.
It is not a contest. It is not a 50-50. It is not trying to survive. Marriage is simply two people who decide to go through it until their last breath. Over the previous 18 years, the best place on earth after Mekkah and Madinah has always been in his arms; until my last breath.
Happy 18th Anniversary to my husband.